Today was a very unique day for me. I started having thoughts this morning that were making me feel kinda 'angry', which is not an emotion i feel very often. I recently learnt that my job role is getting eliminated. I remembered the huge positive impact that I have made on the job and still, i was in the process of losing the job/ visa/ life as I knew it. As an immigrant woman in the US, things just seemed very unfair with chips stacked against me on many levels.
Rather than brushing aside my 'anger/ frustration/ irritation' as low vibe emotions - today I chose to feel it fully ! It seemed like anger had a very high palpable energy that was flowing in my body as sharp fast movements, and much faster breathing.
It's a little funny that I was washing dishes. And generally, it takes me about 10 minutes to wash'em but today it just took about 5 minutes. As my anger was flowing through me, i also felt like just getting it all (cleaning tasks) over with ! Things that i generally avoid / delay (sweeping / mopping/bathroom cleaning) kinda took place very rapidly today as i was channelizing my anger energy in a slightly different direction.
I went biking and i must have been biking very fast too .....as i reached my favorite point on the trail much faster than usual.
When i saw the waters - it was very different from my last visit. During the last visit, the stream had been very muddy and brown from the recent rains and the flow of brownish water was very fast, but today it was all clear and calm, one could even see the beautiful pebbles and stones that went deep.
I felt that the same thing had happened with my internal state also - as I let the 'anger' energy be fully felt / flown / channeled through my body and breath today - I sat near the steam feeling completely calm and tranquil just like that beautiful crystal clear water in front of me.
One can always go from turbulence to tranquility (without avoidance or brushing it aside and busying oneself with tempting distractions) by just letting the waves pass over us, as we feel and process our feelings fully!
I hope we can all cultivate the courage to feel and process our feelings fully - leveraging body and
breath as powerful tools in the process !
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